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When You Lose It


Roxy Longworth, Gay Longworth


Having been groomed, blackmailed and publicly humiliated by sixth form boys at 13, Roxy Longworth then began to self-harm and hearing voices, and was hospitalized after suffering a psychotic break. A memoir of battling rival truths, and a mother-daughter relationship stretched to its absolute limits.

'You know the old psychiatrist's joke, you're either in here for one reason or a mother.'

A sharp-witted thirteen-year-old girl with a tendency towards self-destruction, Roxy Longworth's life implodes before her teenage years have even really begun. Her sisters, her father, and above all her mother, Gay, end up buried in the shrapnel, desperately trying to claw their way out. The fault lies with the vulturous older boys who have been circling Roxy for months, pecking away at her spirit. Or perhaps it lies with the blank-faced head teacher who let them get away with it. Or it lies with the counsellor, the professional who should have known better than to push her further into delusion and paranoia.

Or does it lie with her mother, who was so hurt that she didn't notice all the signs in time? The woman who never fully understood. Or with Roxy, after all she was the one who pressed send on those photos...

A gripping memoir of battling rival truths, a crushing psychotic breakdown and a mother-daughter relationship stretched to its absolute limits.

Roxy was groomed, blackmailed, exploited and publicly humiliated by sixth form boys at 13. At 14, she began to self-harm, started hearing voices, suffered a psychotic break and was hospitalized. She came out of hospital and started the hellish climb to recovery, which took years. She wrote a diary all the way through, even when imaginary people were telling her what to write. At 17 she started putting her diary entries together, having not said what had happened out loud to anybody, not even her mother. She finished school with 3A* and is now at UCL doing a degree in maths and neuroscience. This is her first book. Gay Longworth is the author of 11 books. She is the mother of 3 teenage daughters and has been married for 23 years.

Category:  Biography
ISBN:  9781802792188
Publisher:  Welbeck Publishing Group
On sale:  August 2022
Format:  Paperback
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