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Becoming Us


Jake Graf ,Hannah Graf


'The UK's most influential LGBT Power Couple' - Guardian

This is the inspiring and moving memoir of a couple in search of a normal family life. And in many ways that have found that: married, doing jobs they love and expecting their second child. But their journey there has been an extraordinary one.

Becoming Us is the inspiring and at times heart-breaking memoir of Jake and Hannah Graf, the UK's most visible transgender couple and family. We follow their extraordinary paths towards the 'normality' they have always longed for, as they navigate the many challenges and pitfalls along the way.

Born in 1980s London under Section 28 and assigned female at birth, Jake knew from a young age that he was in body that didn't fit. Hannah was assigned male at birth, and growing up in small town Cardiff she hid her innate femininity from her family and friends until joining the British Army in her late teens. Their journeys were wildly different, Jake falling into drug and alcohol addiction, Hannah excelling in the military and serving across the world. Hannah would later come out as trans and be awarded an MBE by HRH Prince William. Jake discovered community and purpose in the film industry. But it was only after they found themselves that they were ready to find each other.

Now, they are married and parents to two beautiful daughters. Amid soaring levels of hatred and transphobia in the UK, Jake and Hannah have chosen to tell their story in the hope of increasing awareness, raising visibility and spreading some much needed love and understanding around transgender people and their lives. They hope too that in sharing their experiences, they will help in the fight for inclusivity, acceptance and support across all demographics.

Jake Graf (Author)
Jake Graf is an award-winning director, writer and actor based in London known for his roles in 'The Danish Girl' and 'Colette' and for viral hit 'Headspace'. Through his work he aims to elicit acceptance and understanding and his first 9 films have screened at over 100 festivals worldwide. All are used as educational tools in universities, schools, prisons and media events internationally.

First feature film 'Lavender' is in development with Ardimages ('God's Own Country') and MisFits Entertainment ('Alleycats'/'McQueen'). His next short film, 'Stone' is in development with Wychwood Media. He is currently consulting on the musical version of 'The Danish Girl'.

Jake is a vocal and visible member of the transgender community, speaking internationally on trans issues. He is a patron of the Mermaids charity and The Albert Kennedy Trust.

Hannah Graf (Author)
Hannah is a retired Captain of the British Army. She commissioned in 2010 and has commanded soldiers across the world including in Germany, Canada, Kenya and Afghanistan. Currently she works for a global bank combating financial crime.

Hannah is also a transgender woman and her personal story of transition captured the imagination of the nation in 2015. A true advocate for equality, she used her public profile to promote a realistic portrayal of transgender individuals.

Hannah is a patron for the charity Mermaids and an ambassador for LGBT Sport in Wales. Her work in diversity has won her several accolades including Cosmopolitan Woman of the Year, an honorary fellowship from Cardiff University and in June 2019, an MBE for her services to equality within the Armed Forces.

Category:  Biography: General
ISBN:  9781399719193
Publisher:  HODDER & STOUGHTON
On sale:  July 2023
Format:  Paperback
eBook ISBN 
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